Introducing The Bluebeards Revenge – The Ultimate Shaving Experience For Real Men!
Blue Beards of the world unite!
Millions of men all over the world share a common problem – that tough stubble that seems to defy the attentions of every shaving product and blunts the edge of the keenest razor – “Blue Beard”.
Do you endure the morning misery of tackling your “Blue Beard” with inadequate products designed for the bum fluff brigade? Do you get to the point where your face is on fire after an abortive attempt to produce a result that will last beyond afternoon tea? Are you fed up to the back teeth with a 5 O’clock shadow appearing before lunch?
It’s Your Own Fault!
Are you using a tin of fluffy super market foam or perhaps some super expensive, designer label concoction more akin to face cream than a shaving preparation for real men? If so you should know better – these guys are only interested in flogging you girly products at massive margins – you need a shaving solution designed for “Blue Beards” by fellow sufferers!
The Ultimate Shaving Solution for Real Men
We can’t help being charged up with beard inducing testosterone that produces sand paper tough stubble that can cut glass – but we can choose a shaving solution that works!
Designed by a real life “Blue Beard” who was bored to death with being a Desperate Dan look-alike, The Bluebeards Revenge range of quality shaving and skincare products is aimed at the problem shaver, the guy who has suffered for eternity due to his masculine beard growth.
Paraben Free Shaving Creams & Balms Containing Decelerine™
The flagship product in the range is a paraben free, British barbershop quality shaving cream with added ingredients like Decelerine™ to specifically reduce beard growth and combat tough, manly stubble. It has been formulated to our unique specification in one of the UK’s premier male cosmetics laboratories who are renowned experts in the field of shaving cream. Decelerine™ can also be found in the brand’s brushless shaving solution and post-shave balm.
Warning – Bum Fluff Brigade
If you are a fully paid up member of the bum fluff brigade then The Bluebeards Revenge is simply not for you. May we respectfully suggest that you try some of the foamy stuff you can get from any supermarket. The Bluebeards Revenge is for Real Men. Your pathetic excuse for whiskers don’t deserve The Bluebeards Revenge. Before buying any product in The Bluebeards Revenge range, we ask you to kindly check whether or not you qualify for official Bluebeards status.
Love Life Warning
Stand by to repel boarders – when we selected the scent we went through a fastidious process to ensure that The Bluebeards Revenge smelt totally delicious to both the user and the fairer sex. And my did we pull it off – universally acclaimed for being masculine but ever so irresistible when it comes to the ladies The Bluebeards Revenge is going to change your love life. Expect a few admiring neck nuzzles from the love of your life as she not only checks out your smooth shave but takes a sly sniff at the same time. Sorry chaps – we couldn’t help it! Take advantage when you can, even if it means being late for work.
Not just a brilliant shave
The Bluebeards Revenge is not just about the finest shaving products known to modern man. We also sport a unique range of shaving hardware and grooming products, including soaps, shampoo, bodywash, conditioner, moisturiser and much more. The Bluebeards Revenge is the Ultimate Shaving and Grooming Experience for Real Men!
The Bluebeards Revenge is totally against animal testing!
We couldn’t actually find any guinea pigs, beagles, lab rats or rabbits daft enough to volunteer for product testing so we resorted to testing on real human beings instead! Luckily the boys in the lab had done a fine job and all the chaps survived the experience and have suffered no ill effects. You can use all The Bluebeards Revenge products with no fear and a totally clear conscience!