How many times do we have to tell you? Unkempt facial forests are neither big nor clever. Just in case you still haven’t managed to grasp the reason the clean-shaven look is the way forward, we’ve rounded up a few more for you. And if this little lot doesn’t convince you to at least have a bit of a tidy up, then we wash our hands of you.
Yeah, you heard. Lice don’t just live on heads. In fact, if anything, you’re more at risk if you sport a beard or moustache, as if you’ve got kids, these are far more likely to come into contact with the tops of their heads.
2. You’re incapable of emotion.
Happy? Sad? We haven’t a clue. You could be laughing raucously at a funeral and we’d be none the wiser. While this might sound like a pleasing bonus for you, just imagine how much unnecessary stick you’d get if someone were to get it the wrong way round.
3. Beards make children cry.
Seriously. Do you want your “new-dad” mates’ children and their friends to have nightmares? Or even your own? Do the decent thing now, and get thee to a barber shop.
4. It keeps getting trapped in things
This is basic health and safety stuff, guys. Basic health and safety. In fact, we’re surprised your head is still intact.
5. Birds nesting.
This is not the kind of chick you want to be attracting. If you should find one hatching from your beard, you’ve really gone too far.