The sooner, the better!
Here are eight life changing lessons every man can learn from, handpicked by team Bluebeards!
1. You will never be David Beckham. Imitating his hairstyle and kicking a football around with your mates every Tuesday night does not make you him – and neither does dating a moody woman with four kids and pretending to search for your keys whenever you walk past a Ferrari.
2. Growing a bum-fluff beard is never going to make you look more masculine. If you’re one of the many who can’t manage to grow a full beard, then just admit defeat and go clean-shaven and you’ll save yourself – and everyone else – a whole lot of embarrassment.
3. The number of women you pull is not equal to the amount of aftershave you apply. Dousing yourself from head to toe will certainly act as a magnetic field – but only of the repellent variety.
4. Drinking five protein shakes a day in addition to meals will not magically transform
you into the Hulk while you do nothing but lie on the sofa playing Xbox. You will actually need to go to the gym and lift, and it’s going to involve a lot of hard work.
5. Being vertically challenged does not mean that you have to submit yourself to ‘Small Man Syndrome’. Being excessively loud and repeatedly getting yourself into fights will
not make you any manlier. It will get you noticed, but for all the wrong reasons.
6. Boozing is not a competition. Drinking your mates under the table even though you’re half the size and twice the lightweight is not clever, and you won’t look like the big man when you’re tied to a lamppost in your underwear, or vomiting out of a taxi window with permanent marker glasses drawn onto your face. Especially when that girl from the gym you’ve been trying to impress turns up.
7. The bedhead look does not mean literally getting out of bed and going out as you are. A shower is still an absolute necessity, and getting your hair to look textured and dishevelled while also being socially acceptable is a fine art.
8. Cut-throat shaving is not nearly as scary as it sounds. Yes, there might be a bit of blood on your first attempt or two, but it’s no worse than the nicks and cuts you’ve been getting from relentlessly reaching for a blunt disposable. Give it some time and a little bit of dedication, and you won’t go back. And yes – it will make you feel manlier.