You’ve just nailed a romantic dinner and chatted your way to the bottom of an expensive bottle of bubbly. Dinner was a success and the bubbles have set the tone. You’re in. Well, you were; expect for the fact that you’ve forgotten to shave your chest, back, and balls! Now your primate-like body hair is at the mercy of your lover. Or, you could avoid this entire traumatic affair and follow our body grooming tips below.
How to shave your chest
Unless you’re in the cast of Magic Mike, or maybe Michael Phelps, you should be keeping some amount of your chest hair intact. Why? Because removing all the hair from your pecks will likely leave you looking a little too pubescent.
Instead, start by removing the bulk with a reliable electric body and beard trimmer. Choosing a guard to suit you is down to personal preference, but we’d recommend starting longer and working down to a shorter grade if needed – you can take more off, you can’t put it back!
How to shave your back
This one’s a little trickier, especially if you’re trying to sort it out discreetly. Naturally, your partner (the saint that they are) would be your first port of call. Or a willing friend, if you can find one!? If both those ships have sailed, then get yourself booked into a salon and let the professionals wax away your problems. Failing that, you’d best start working on your flexibility and follow the same tips as shaving your balls.
How to shave your armpits
Nobody’s armpit hair should make them look like they have Bob Marley in a headlock, so take a little time to trim them into shape. Shaving your pits will also help to reduce excessive sweating, which is essential during those nervous first date moments; when you casually slide your arm around your crush’s shoulders.
Similarly to your chest, completely bare armpits are going to make you look a little odd. Opt for the same trimmers you used on your chest and take the hair down to a more manageable length.
How to shave your pubes and balls
“We’re in the endgame now,” as Doctor Strange famously said. Shaving around your crown jewels is possibly the most nerve racking experience you’ll ever have with a razor in-hand. But with the right preparation and a steady hand, you’ll breeze through this task.
We’ve heard legend of a man that shaves his balls with our Cut-Throat Razor, but that’s not what we’ll be recommending today! Instead, you’ll need an electric trimmer and one of our double-edge safety razors, fitted with a fresh blade.
Start by trimming your pubes down to a manageable length with an electric body trimmer, fitted with a guard. You could easily leave your bush like this – it’s still a drastic improvement – or you could go for the complete naked mole rat look. Whatever you do, don’t go near your balls with the trimmers! This will only end in disaster and will most definitely ruin any intimacy you had planned. Instead, return to your gonads later with your razor.
If you’re going for a fully shaved look, jump in the shower to soften the remaining hair follicles in the area with a little warm water. This will help to improve razor glide and generally calm your nerves.
Next, use our Shaving Cream and Vanguard Synthetic Shaving Brush to whip up a thick lather. Apply it generously to your pubic region, then fit a fresh blade to either our Scimitar or Cutlass Double-Edge Razor and begin shaving in very gentle, short strokes. Be sure to shave with the natural growth patterns of the hair and rinse the blade often.
It pains us to say it, but you might want to opt for a cartridge razor when tackling your balls. Just like your bush, apply a generous amount of our Shaving Cream and shave with slow, gentle strokes. Don’t be afraid to pull the skin taught, just avoid any squeezing.
Believe it or not, taking away those hairs at the base of your shaft really will make your pecker look bigger. To make the most of this illusion, simply follow the steps above, taking care not to shave too far into the bush itself, if you’ve left some.
Shaving around your twig and berries is no different from shaving your face – you still need to take some time to settle the skin post-shave. Start by jumping back in the shower to clean yourself up, then pat everything dry with a towel. Applying our Post-Shave Balm to these delicate areas could sting – especially if you’ve nicked yourself by accident – so opt for a few pumps of our Cooling Moisturiser instead.
And there you have it – a less hairy version of yourself. Now all you have to do is maintain it…